Nursery

I have wanted a baby for longer than I can even remember.  And years ago when I thought that I wouldn't have any problems conceiving, I started buying baby things here and there.  Ya know, an outfit here, bib there, things like that.  Well on November 23, 2009, my sister passed away and I was absolutely devistated.  She has always known how much I love kids and how much I want to be a mommy, and she was always there to support me and for me to talk to if I needed to talk.  In early December, 2009, I received a phone call that there was a newborn baby girl named Anna that needed a home and loving parents.  Of course, Dustin and I were ever so eager to take her in.  We both just knew in our hearts that my sister had sent Anna to be with us.  We hired an attorney to oversee the adoption, we bought a stroller, carseat, crib, dresser, changing table, crib bedding set and so many more things.  Well, as it turns out, we did not receive Anna as the whole thing was a hoax for money.  We were absolutely devistated and couldn't understand how someone could do such a horrible thing to someone else.  And to top it all off, the person who did this was family. 

Anyhow, there we were with no baby and a completly finished nursery.  I had thought so many times about taking the crib down and putting the dresser and changing table in the garage to store it, but I still can't bring myself to do it.  I find myself just standing at the crib and crying wondering when and if I will ever have my own baby to sleep there.  I can just sit in the nursery for hours just thinking about the day that I become a mother.  Dustin will sometimes come in and say "What are you doing?" and I'll say "Just sitting here."  He always tells me to come in the living room with him, because it is not good for me to just sit in there and get myself all depressed.

One of these days, I know that GOD will grant me my wish for a beautiful, healthy baby.  Until then, I will continue to sit in the nursery and dream of the day that I can rock my baby to sleep in there, and put him/her in the crib.

Until next time...

Shawna